What Not to Say When You Go To The ER...any ER

1. when asked what's the emergency...you say this is (John Smith) our doctor called.
don't care...most of the time your doctor did not call. Sometimes the nurse will call and tell the ER you're coming and thats only cause they didn't want to deal with you

2. when asked whats the emergency...do not say I'm/he's/she's sick
Duh! Everybody that comes through is sick...you gotta be a little bit more specific

3. when asked "do you/he/she have any allergies?" Do not reply with yeah I've/he's/she's got asthma or just a yes
You were not asked about medical problems, asthma is a medical problem not an allergy and again you were asked what you/he/she is allergic too...oh and pollen does not count they are asking about drugs

4. you never have an appointment in the ER
this is an ER for emergencies you can't have an appointment for an emergency

5. when asked who your primary doctor is do not say one of the ER doctors doctors this means you come too much if you know the doctors by name

6. never make a comment like oh we were in this room last time or ask for a specific room again this means you come too often

7. never stop by mcdonalds or captain D's before an ER visit
I mean if its an emergency do you really have time to stop for food?

8. sticking with the food thing...do not run in and immediately go to the snack machine
again emergency...but have time for food?

9. When you get to the room do not immediately ask for water, gatorade, etc
anybody will gladly get you all of this and more but it is not the top priority...lets take care of the patient first

10. If you're getting an IV don't threaten the nurse with "one stick" or say how hard of a stick they are or say "I hope you're good"
now you've just insulted the nurse...let me just say ER nurses are the best with IVs cause they do it all the time and if they really need an IV they'll take as many sticks as they need too (not just one)

11. when asked what the emergency is...keep it short and sweet
the more problems you have the less emergent you look and don't start with "well a few months ago" that was a few months ago you are in an ER today so whats the emergency?

12. when asked about medical problems you say none but then have a ton of meds
if you are taking medicines then you probably have a medical problem

13. do not say they have a fever and then say you didn't check it
you can't tell someone has a fever by "feeling" of them

14. continuing on with fevers...do not say you didn't give meds cause you wanted them to see the fever or you knew the nurse would give some
the nurse will believe you that you/he/she had a fever don't make yourself/child/parent suffer cause you want them to "see" the fever (and you can't "see" a fever)

15. never say oh Dr. Mouse is waiting on us or expecting us
I can guarantee you that a doctor will never be waiting on you

16. when asked the medical history never say "its in the chart"
the chart is not in front of whoever is asking and you just look stupid for not knowing the medical history of yourself/child

17. know your own/child/niece/nepher/dad/mom's name before you ask if they are in the department
again this just makes you look stupid for not knowing your family member's name and don't try to describe them...do you know how many people come through the ER?

18. do not ask for a wheelchair unless you have some kind of injury or medical problem where you can't walk
people who pass out can still walk, people with broke arms can still walk, people who are fat can still walk

19. do not ask for a school/work excuse first thing
this is just obvious that you are not sick/hurt and you only came for an excuse...at least pretend that you didn't come for that and ask for it at the end

20. do not ever say "oh its so quiet in here"
you've just jinxed the ER and now a trauma or really sick patient is going to come and again it makes it look like you're a frequent flyer